Getting married and entertaining dreams of one day having children and starting a family of my own is really fucking scary when you come from a family so royally fucked up as mine. Nothing I do seems right, even when I’m attempting to air my grievances and possibly come up with solutions. Despite my best efforts, I can see my…“home life” has started effecting my performance in school. That really sucks since I was on track to get a 4.0 this semester. I continue to do everything I possibly can, but with each piece of bad news from the home front, it gets harder and harder to concern myself with school. My family is pretty much coming apart at the seams. And there is nothing I can do about it. It’s basically killing me. And there is nothing I can do about it. I rarely go home to visit my family, and this is why, but it’s not really fair because my grandfather is not doing so well, so I want to come see him as often as possible, but all the drama is so damn trying. How did shit get this bad? Things seemed to be doing alright for a while, but now they are far from it. How can you fix something that is so completely broken, when you don’t have all the pieces?