Fatty-Fatty, Two-by-Four!

A friend of mine (you know who you are) recently lost her job and now finds an abundance of idle time on her hands. This got me thinking about my day-to-day life and my levels of free time. I always knew that my time was precious, but it is alarming how rare it is for me to have a chance to stop and catch my breath. Any time I think I have arrived at a resting point, I generally find out sooner or later that I was wrong and some assignment or project is on the verge of tardiness, which is simply unacceptable. I am perpetually exhausted, yet I am the fattest I have ever been. This is problematic when trying to begin a fitness routine, especially when the urge to sleep/rest is far more compelling than that little voice (usually my husband’s) telling me to run/exercise. However, I must get in the habit of exercising regularly—for several reasons but primarily for the sake of vanity. You see, I don’t feel sexy (because I don’t look sexy), and when a woman doesn’t feel sexy…she doesn’t want to…partake in sexy time, if you know what I mean. Let’s just say I don’t like the way I look when I’m dressed, so being nude isn’t my favorite thing either (unfortunately for my hubby). In fact, I recently realized that my thighs touch—a discovery I found rather traumatizing. This is another first for me, and I don’t like it. The worst part is that they just barely touch so when I’m walking around in shorts I get the sensation of a stray hair tickling my inner thigh—only to reach down to wipe it away and remember that it’s not a hair—it’s my big, thighs! Now let me get one thing straight, I’m not too worried about being as chubby as I am right now. It is reparable. It’ll just be a pain in the ass. I’m really not looking forward to trying to find time in my shitty schedule to do what feels like punishing myself. Especially after working a 9 hour shift! But it must be done. It’s getting hotter and hotter and I don’t know how much longer I can go around in paints all day. And I refuse to be one of those women whose butt appears to be eating her shorts, which inadequately cover…parts of her body that need to be covered. SO, wish me luck because I’ll definitely need it. Especially when it comes time for me to monitor my diet (why God, are fatty, unhealthy foods so delicious?). Sigh, this is going to blow.

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