Damn It’s Good to Be Back!
SO! My first day back at good ole Starbucks (the one on campus) was Wednesday, and it was kinda strange because there were a lot of new faces. When I left back in June, most of the people I worked with had been working there since before I got hired. I was a little unsettled by all the new people because I have to learn what they’re like in order to form a productive, functional work relationship with them and that can be hard sometimes. Especially if my personality doesn’t mesh well with theirs. Anyway, I was getting all worked up today and Wednesday thinking no one knew what the hell was going on because I assumed they were new and to make up for that I was zipping around trying to do everything singlehandedly. This only aggravated me further because I felt like I was working my ass off and everyone else was standing around talking about their personal lives. Then, the boss man—our general manager—pulled me aside and pointed out to me that I was being a total dick to pretty much everyone, and that I was pissing him off. So I went to the back and started talking to another manager like “wtf, why’d he say I’m talking down to people? I don’t get it” and she was like “uh, because you are…” After that I needed time to think so I started doing the dishes (a mindless activity, thus enabling me to think and work simultaneously). After giving it some thought and having a few things explained to me, I realized that they were so, totally, completely right! I felt like such a jerk. Not only was I guilty of talking down to a group of complete strangers, but also of being uncharacteristically rude. For example, one of the recent hires was breaking down boxes while I was in the office taking my lunch and a manager came in to do paperwork prompting the new hire to come in and ask her a question, as one might expect. However, the question she asked was not one I ever expected to hear from anyone. This girl asked how to work a box cutter. A box cutter! It’s a pretty straightforward instrument; with the one little slidy-pushy-button-thingy that exposes and retracts the razorblade. I could not stop myself from raising my eyebrows and sarcastically pointing out that a child who still wears diapers could more than likely figure out how a damn box cutter works. In short, I called her an idiot. To make matters worse, at that time I’d only known the poor girl for like three hours, and I don’t think I even spoke to her, let alone introduced myself. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt. I was ashamed of my childishness. So, like a dork, I pulled her aside and apologized for something she had no knowledge of—well at least not until I apologized. Something just made me want to rectify my asshole-ry. Hopefully, now that I realized what I was doing thanks to some help from above (“above” as in much higher than me in the chain of command), I will be able to stop myself from acting so shamefully in the future. I still can’t believe that I was completely ignorant of my behavior. I was poisoning the team that I work with at a place that I love to work at, all because I was being judgmental in clique-ish. I find that nauseating because that is such an inaccurate portrayal of myself. The good news: now that I’ve been made aware, I can strive to fix it and mend any work relationships that I may have damaged on my little hissy-fit rampage. Wish me luck!